Love Left on the Wagon
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Hi, I'm song writer Mary Cates
Respress.  On April 6th, 1992, I
discovered my husband (California)
Respress had been killed and buried in
an unmarked grave eight months
earlier.  
At the time I received this tragic
information  I had moved away from my family
and was living alone.  After learning of the tragic
circumstances surrounding the death of my
husband I became deeply depressed and
traumatized.   I was grieved that he had no
headstone and that for nearly a year I did not
know of his death.  The love I shared with him
rose up in me and I cried almost every day and
night for three years..
.(cont. below)
La Sisters Beauty Shop
390 Auburn Ave,
Atlanta, Georgia
The only solace I  found was when I flew
home to Durham N.C. for a brief visit with my
niece Ann who prayed with me.  Her prayer
words were so powerful I did not cry for three
weeks afterwards.  This was a big relief for
me that I was completely oblivious to when
the tears began again; lasting to the third
year from when I was informed of my
husband's tragic death.  I cried so much the
bags under my eyes looked like St. Nickolas
bag of toys.  If I had a dollar for every tear
I've shed I would be a billionaire.  I went to
bed crying.  I woke crying.  I thought I would
never stop crying.  I knew no matter how
much  I cried it would not change what had
happened to him.  I prayed morning, noon,
and night...
There were times I
thought I would not
survive my emotional
pain that  I would had
died of a heart attack. I
knew life and death is
in the tongue,
 
Understanding the
Understanding the
power of the tongue I
power of the tongue I
never spoke the words.
never spoke the
words.  I was afraid to
give life to them, that
they would take my
life.  I knew I had to
persevere to keep my
sanity and my life.  At
times I could not
believe the tremendous
pain I suffered.  Many
nights I cried out to
God.  "Please, God
don't let me die with a
broken heart"  The
pain was excruciating.
There were times I
could not remember
one day from the
other.  All days were
painful and long.  This
was the most miserable
time of my
life.  I always hid my
tears.  I don't know
how I managed not to
cry in front of my
customers in the
beauty-shop where I
worked...
When I could not take the pain no longer I prayed to God to send someone who had
experienced a trauma similar to mine.  I knew to stop my crying I needed someone to
talk with who could tell me how to cope with my problem.  No one came.  I was so
lonely and miserable I began talking about it to everyone I met including my
customers.  I began singing songs to myself that comforted me.  I discovered talking
and singing was good therapy for me.  I discovered also I was adding words and
tunes of my own to the songs I sang.  Then I began to talk to God about it.  "Yes."  
October 23, 1992 I began writing a story about my tragic experience, entitled WHAT
THE WIFE DIDN'T KNOW.  Word by word I shared my grief and sorrow.  This was a
very bizarre experience for me.  Though I knew the writing and song were a comfort
to me I was not sure my grief and sorrows would be of interest to anyone else.  I
prayed that my songs and story would help someone with a broken and lonely heart
to find comfort in my words and songs as I had found comfort in them.
Contact:
Love Left on the Wagon Here:
Email:  maryrespress@yahoo.com
Web:  
www.cbpm.org/loveleftonthewagon
"Love Left on the Wagon"
This song is my baby when I hear the
lyrics to this song it helps me to heal.  
When love is gone it's a sad situation, but
we must go on with our lives.  When I
hear this song, I feel as if I'm looking in
the mirror.  This song is medicine to my
spirit.

"California had my poor, poor heart in the
palm of his right hand and I didn't have a
chance to get it back before he left.  I long
for him in my dreams.  Sometimes his
spirit comes to me in disguise, but I
always know its my darling husband.

If I live to be 103, I believe I'll still long for
him.  To me love is a circle that never
ends
RESPRESS MAKES PLEA
Song writer Mary Cates Respress would like to
make a humble plea to ask everyone, please,
please, stop burying your loved-ones without
graves markers and destroying cemeteries.  It
breaks my poor poor, heart to see graves
desecrates and unmarked.  I beg you, please help
me on my crusade against this mockery.

Remember, "We all are Kings and Queens".

Thank you so very much,
Songwriter, Mary Cates Respress
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